My liver just broke up with me...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
