Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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