Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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