you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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