this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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