Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why can't burritos get me drunk
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
