Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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