I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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