Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
