no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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