is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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