Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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