id be glad to
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
