I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
