he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
