dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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