we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
