thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
