My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
