Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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