So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
