she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
