so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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