I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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