I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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