She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We talked him into tasing himself.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
