who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
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