I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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