She is in my trunk
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
