Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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