I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
