rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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