Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
ok first of all what the fuck
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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