she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
