they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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