so explain again why im purple
no
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
