we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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