I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
