so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
