Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize