i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
