Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
