Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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