so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
