OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
