New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
