I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
