He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I still have a little drunk in my system
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize