dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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