I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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