It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
