Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
