No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize