Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
