She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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