my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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