just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
