My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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