I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
