I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You need Xanax blowdarts
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
