I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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